They say “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”
What they don’t know is that actually….
God made Adam, Eve, Madam, and Steve.
Obviously, there couldn’t have been only two, had their only been two, the human species would have depended upon incest*, and God couldn’t have that.
Madam and Eve made the cutest couple, and Adam and Steve were like bunny rabbits.
It was Madam that pointed out they’d have to switch things up if they were going to make any use of themselves, so they had the children they needed to have, and after the sixth child was born, Adam and Eve realized they REALLY REALLY liked heterosexual sex as well, (which makes sense… they’d had three out of the six of the children.)
Adam and Eve became the first bisexuals.** Now… Steve wasn’t so hot on this idea of Adam sleeping arround, but Madam didn’t care what Eve did. She loved Madam regardless, and didn’t really have much of a sex drive anyway – but that’s not really the point of the story.***
Along with being bisexuals, Adam and Eve also REALLY loved the spotlight so the four all decided that Adam and Eve would deal with the press, and seeing as they were responsible for about 2/3 of the children anyway, they pretended all of the kids were theirs.
The first 100% heterosexual human being was Cain.
The End.
– – - – - – - – - – - – -
*When it came to creating Adam, Eve, Madam, and Steve’s grandchildren, Adam and Eve’s children made children with the children of Madam and Steve. Madam and Adam’s Children only made more children with Eve and Steve’s Children. Ta-Da! No incest!
**Of course, being the first four human beings in existence, they hadn’t cared enough to come up any terms for this sort of thing, and in fact, if you were to discuss the topic with Eve, she’d have told you that she ACTUALLY would like to identify as an omnisexual, thank you very much. Adam on the other hand, wouldn’t have cared.
***Steve was actually the first human being to ever masturbate, he came to terms with the situation after he discovered he didn’t ALWAYS need Adam.
That IS funny! hee hee…
Actually, what we call Adam comes from an ancient Hebrew word that “being of earth.” The first gender created was Eve, who is always referred to as female. The “being of earth” isn’t referred to as male until after Eve is created. I’d say that would make God sexless as the “being of earth” was created in his image, but that would make heaven sound rather boring.